It is time for me to look forwards

August is now my unofficial end of year, a point in the year when I reflect on what came before and what comes next. This year I’ve been struggling with too much looking backwards and not enough looking forwards.

August is now my unofficial end of year, a point in the year when I reflect on what came before and what comes next. This year I’ve been struggling with too much looking backwards and not enough looking forwards.

I think September has a new year feel for a lot of people. For a big chunk of our lives the start of a new academic year brings a lot of change with different teachers, blank textbooks, new shoes. August is the time for slowing down and recharging so we are ready for this. This had bled through into the working world. Inboxes are cleared over the summer, new projects get ready to go, adverts prepared.

August is the time for contemplation and resetting. This is especially true in freelance land as there is often less work and more space for reflection. Not being busy is great for the holiday childcare conundrum but I’ve struggled with the thinking space. I keep catching myself not just looking back through this year but back five, ten, even twenty years.

Looking backwards can be very useful. There are lessons to be learnt, trends to look out for, and patterns to decipher but this reflection needs to be balanced with looking forward. I have this image in my head of walking along holding a mirror with a handle in front of my face. I’m so busy looking into it to see what came before that I can’t see what opportunities might be in front of me.

I applied for an exciting maternity cover recently. During the interview, I felt conscious of my voice and of the words that were coming out of my mouth. A summary of me in four answers to four questions.

We went on holiday and I waited for an answer. I didn’t get it. Suddenly the mirror felt bigger and heavier. Did I focus on the wrong things? Would the outcome of been different if I’d made different choices?

I haven’t owned the reflective process and have been letting my mind just go wherever it wanted, asking questions that looked backwards at things that could not be undone. I still have time to take more control and be more intention so here is a plan!

1. Time with my best friend — I’m taking my daughter to hang out with my best friend this weekend and am looking forward to when we have got the kids to bed and can sit and chat. I need that.
2. Year Compass — I’ve never done a Year Compass, in part because I didn’t think I needed to but also because January doesn’t really work for me as a time for reflection and planning. It’s too dark and cold!
3. Invest in my own development — I’ve neglected this since going freelance (and even before that when I led an L&D team!) and I’ve put aside some money for this. I’m currently considering Lego Serious Play but very open to suggestions
4. Write — I find writing so helpful, a lot of which I never post anywhere. I need to do more of this to help me work through how I’m feeling and to capture my thoughts and ideas.
5. Coffees with people doing interesting things — I miss having a regular group of interesting people I work with who are doing different things at different points energy wise. I was better at this when I first went freelance but I’ve let it slip.

What else am I missing? Any other good suggestions for how I think more about the future and the opportunities that might lay ahead? Fancy a coffee?

The picture in this post is not all my own work. Our daughter Rennah was drawing me on the train home yesterday and I added to that.